He’s here to help us sort through both. Offended. When we make a choice, the tendency is to follow the path of least resistance. The best course is to take self responsibility and stop blaming others. Today, we live in an over-sensitive, over-complaining, over-politically correct world where at any given time, some person or group is offended by something happening, usually not even directly related to them. ... that still wouldn't make being offended a choice. to take offense. “People get addicted to feeling offended all the time because it gives them a high; being self-righteous and morally superior feels good.” ― Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Is there psychology to show this? May you not offend, nor be offended. Choice, Condition, Else, Imposed, Inflicted, Make, Offended, Someone, Something, Something Else, Us Quotes to Explore The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm … share. We’re talking about something that would disturb your sensibilities, your sense of what is right. Whatever you decide to do because of it, that is a choice. report. Do you think being offended is choice? Being Offended is a Choice For over a year now I've been writing a monthly article for the Town Talk's Guest Pastor column. This thread is archived. Unanswered. To be offended is a choice we make; it is not a condition inflicted or imposed upon us.” — David A. Bednar 2. Be offended, or not. Here is where I had to do some internal file cabinet cleaning. How to not get offended. 49 comments. It is has become hard to say anything, especially on social media, that won’t upset someone somewhere rather a lot. We can’t stop the inconsiderate, rude, offensive acts of others. There is nothing that forces you to take offence other than your own moral standards, sense of righteousness and ego or self-image. People get offended all the time and they should shield themselves for it, because nobody is responsible for another mans reaction, the emotions you feel are very personal, and feeling offended almost always is a negative emotion and can lead to very negative consequences. There’s a myriad of things people can get deeply offended by: perceived slights around economics, nationality, social group, sexual tastes, commitments. Either you will be more offended by his words, or a little light-bulb will go off in your mind and you will instantly think of how useless being offended is.And since being offended easily is a choice, YOU are the one who holds the power to stop being offended. I choose tolerance. 5 1 15. In a sense, I was choosing to give back all of the power to the offender. Unanswered. It could also happen if they don’t acknowledge you or what you do. You should never disrespect others. It’s allowing someone or something else to control the way you feel. First, when you receive feedback, tune in to what you feel – probably sadness is in there somewhere, the little child in you is hurt. First, recognize that your being offended is your choice. 4 4. comments. How I chose to handle it was to feel like I was deeply offended. And you should never allow yourself to (remain) feeling disrespected. David Pollay discovered this concept. Reactions are something you can work to control. Typically it runs on the first Sunday of the month, but this month the first Sunday was also the first day of the month and I didn't get it to them in time to run so it ran on the 2nd Sunday, today, October 8. save hide report. Let’s kick this off with some realness: The concept of feeling offended is maddening. "That's offensive!" What Does 'Offended' Mean? Blow your emotional top or not. Offense requires an objective opinion. More on that another time. Hurt requires healing. Edit: For second question. You should always be trustworthy. Well, so what?A compilation for the rejection of the culture of offense. To summarize: there are only two things you need to do to never feel insulted or offended again. In the past few months, we have become more isolated than we … That is offensive, of course, but it’s really just a day-to-day reality. Maria’s Midweek Mindfulness » 10.6.19 Being offended is a choice | We are an Oasis where the Bible comes alive! (the subconscious) There are times after all, that feeling offended was and should remain as a healthy choice. Offended Now, this is not going to be the same as being verbally abused; what it will come down to is that one will hear something and they will feel hurt or upset, among other things. Feeling OFFENDED is a choice/Even though we were supposed to switch off, me and my former mother in law both made dinner on the same day. Now, this is not going to be the same as being verbally abused; what it will come down to is that one will hear something and they will feel hurt or upset, among other things. For example, if a boss says something contrary to the self-concept and belief of the offended, the intensity of the feeling of offense may be greater than if an unknown coworker would make the same comment. share. Being offended is a choice. The Law of the Garbage Truck. save. I am not easily offended. And for clarity, I am talking about open conversation where we all have a choice. The nasty feeling you have is a direct consequence of your choice, not of the statement which motivated it. And you should also never depend solely on the Other to initiate a relationship of trust. offend you or to offend me. Your choice. I often find those who are easily offended to be arrogant or self-righteous. 2. Being offended is a choice made by us. Feel the feeling instead of avoiding it. Truthfully, being offended is a choice we make. These are all things that are within your control. 55% Upvoted. Feeling offended or hurt by speech is a matter of choice because no one is responsible for our issues but ourselves. Every emotion is a valid one, if you are feeling it. Being Offended Is a Choice We Make-----"Certainly clumsy, embarrassing, unprincipled, and mean spirited. When feeling offended is caused by a sense of injustice, forgiveness may become more difficult, mostly in non-intimate relations where the other’s positive image is generally lower than in intimate ones; but in intimate relations feeling offended can strongly worsen the image of the other (Table 9) and cause deep sadness reactions (Table 8). Sort by. It’s giving away your power. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Reposted from another friend: It is a fact of life in our country today that there are people who live to be offended. Someone does or says something that is offensive. Is being offended/triggered a personal choice? Even when being offended is controlled by the unconscious, the reaction to the offense is always a conscious choice. hide. Close. Being offended is a reaction. Being offended is a choice like any other. Archived. Is being offended/triggered a personal choice? things do occur in our interactions with other people that would allow us. And through feeling this way, they can come to the conclusion that they have been harmed (just as they would if they were verbally or physically abused). I don’t think it should serve as an excuse to be assholes to each other Obviously, some statements are made with the deliberate intent to offend you. And both are entirely your choice. Is there psychology to show this? Having hurt feelings or being offended is a choice. Take several deep breaths, and allow yourself to feel any emotion that arises, processing it internally without reacting just yet. And through feeling this way, they can come to the conclusion that they have been harmed (just as they would if they were verbally or physically abused). And just because you are offended, does not mean you are right. Posted by u/[deleted] 2 years ago. It isn’t up to other people to stop you from being offended. We are not talking here about someone stabbing your or stealing your wife. Why/Why not? But may we remember today, God is the God of the hurt heart and the offended heart. The feeling of being offended happens when you think that other people are treating you disrespectfully. The significance of the offender and the role in the life of the offended can impact the intensity of the feeling of offense (Cohen, Nisbett, Bowdel, & Schwarz, 1996). According to dictionary.com, the word offend is defined as: Verb (used with object) To irritate, annoy, or anger; cause resentful displeasure in. However, it ultimately is impossible for another person to. It is a logical portion of your head that sometimes feels as if it has been in a position to get past some (Inner Strength) issues, but if they are still from the filing cabinet labeled”offended” we will quickly remember how exactly to answer some situation that even slightly resembles the experiences we have had that directed us to feel offended. Theyre called #Progressives. Hurt happens to us. The case of deliberate provocation. Allowing another person to hurt your feelings or allowing someone to offend you is nothing short of self-imposed mental cruelty. On Feeling Offended. Response 1 of 54: Not totally wrong. Situations where there is a clear power imbalance such as workplaces or domestic violence are another matter entirely. I should feel that way. ” What we decided to think and feel about what the other person did is our choice and will ultimately affect the way we respond. It’s becoming a victim of other people’s choices, many times when they don’t even mean to offend you. 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